Coping Skills

The journey in to work this morning wasn’t a fun one. The first snow of the season had finally hit. Driver’s not yet prepared with their winter driving gear slowly crept along the snow covered roads. Taking my time to get where I needed to be safely I began to think about being prepared and how things in life show up and we need to be ready to deal with them.

Over the years as I tried to cope with life's difficulties I did all sort of things to cope with life. Some of the tricks I pulled out of my hat worked well while others turned into dangerous paths that led to even more trouble.

Trying to cope with life is where we get into a great deal of our trouble. We do it all wrong when we try to do it without Christ. The tricks we pull out of our magical hat to survive are skills we dreamed up. No wonder they fail.

The biggest thing we can do for ourselves in coping with life is to remain strong is Jesus. We can’t give up on Him or ourselves. Just because we keep our Bible close at hand and pray frequently doesn’t mean life isn’t going to be a challenge for us.

As hard as it may be we can’t allow the emotions of the moment to take over our senses. We can’t turn to false hopes and temporary comforts like drugs, food, alcohol, or other people in order to survive. These are not the permanent solutions we need to survive.

Once when my sister fought with her husband she left the house to think things over. Her first reaction was to run to the grocery store and buy herself a candy bar before going some place to have a good cry. It didn’t solve anything but boy that taste of chocolate was her temporary comfort.

Storms in life are going to hit. Unfortunately some appear to get them more than others but everyone has their storms. We just need to prepare ahead of time for when they do hit. We do this by reading our Bible, develop our relationship with God, and practice fighting against Satan’s lies and his tricks.

For the next few journal notes I’m going to talk about things I did to try to deal with life. Tiny little things I used to get me through life. After that we will talk about the good skills that will make a longer lasting difference.

Merry Christmas my fellow Paulette’s. The other day I was thinking maybe I should have referred to us as Petterette’s. Now there is a word for you. Peter, because of the things in life he dealt with, his insecurities, his mistakes and struggles. Both men in the Bible finally overcame their flukes and flaws and were powerful witnesses for God. We will too. It takes time, effort, and the willingness to finish well.

Merry Christmas everyone. Happy Birthday Jesus!  

Journal Note #4

Well time has passed and so has part of the goals I’ve set for myself. My husband came home from being away at work for a week and out the door went my efforts. Again that isn’t his fault it’s my fault.

One day at a time we need to challenge ourselves to press on and to not give up. When we stand before the Lord in judgment God’s not going to accept our excuse that our spouse made it difficult to be what we wanted to be.

The idea of blooming where we are planted is all about growing where you are in your walk with Christ, your spiritual maturity and your ability to overcome. Instead of sitting here asking “why me” we need to stand up and say, “What I can learn from this.”

Today I am challenging myself and my fellow Paulette’s once again to move forward with our goals. I don’t know about you but too often in the past I was the first to give up when things got tough, I don’t want that for my life any more. I am choosing to finish well even if it takes my entire life to do it.

Dear Heavenly Father, today I pray for my fellow Paulette’s out there that are struggling as I am struggling. Forgive us Father for allowing the things around us to take us off our course of being who we need to be in You. Help us to lean more on You instead of away from You. To take the challenge to work on improving ourselves and use it to glorify You.

This week’s goals:
1. Balanced checkbook
2. Clean one room per day
3. Complete a half done journal note in my diary
4. Exercise self-control when it comes to my eating and exercising


Today’s promise sword:
I can do all things THRU Christ who strengths me. Take that Satan!

Journal Note #3

I’ve once again come up against where I am the weakest. I have a hard time blooming where I’m planted because life gets a little difficult. The atmosphere in the house changes and I go with it, this needs to stop. I’m a true Paulette all the way but even Paul was able to hold his own and be the person Christ had called him to be.

Even in the most perfect of conditions if we don’t deal with our weak areas they will remain weak. The purpose of my journey is to not get out but to get through by the grace of God. A journey that brings glory to God in all I say and do.

I want my struggles to be other people’s planks that get them through their own difficult moments in life. One thing I have learned over the years is the fact that “every moment eventually passes.” They may take their time sometimes but they do pass. What we do in those moments, how we react, what we say goes with us so we need to do what is right and beneficial not revenge and self-seeking.

I can both stop in my weaknesses and wallow around in them like a pig does the mud or I can choose to keep moving forward. I choose to keep moving forward. I am going to conqueror who I often am and turn it into something I want to be for Christ and Christ alone.

First order of business to tackle is the getting down on myself when issues in life come up and I take it out on myself. For some reason the first person I like to come down on is myself as I hammer myself into the ground. I know this is wrong but it’s what I do and I need to overcome this worldly trait and replace it with something God would want me to have.

A good place to start is to turn to our sword collection from the Bible. They are promises God makes in His word for us to hang on to and use to fight our battles not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of the dark world Satan creates around us.

For example:

With fiery darts in flight everywhere from Satan I run to my Bible for my defense. Quickly reaching in I draw out the sword to use against my enemy that says, “Though a good man falls he shall not be utterly cast down for the Lord upholds him with His hand,” Psalm 37:24. Waving that in Satan’s face I stand by God’s promise that though I may fall I will not be utterly cast down for God is holding me with His hand. The knowledge of this gives me strength and stability knowing I have God on my side. I may stub my toe, or run into a brick wall once in awhile but I will NOT be utterly cast down. I have the God factor on my side and that is something I will be more than happy to stand by. It’s not for me to hammer myself down but to pick myself up using the strength of God to carry me through even the darkest times. As He holds my hand, I need to be holding His.                                          

Each of us needs to look for promise swords and use them to fight our battles. Too often we pull out scripture and try to use it against our spouses, children, or others and it backfires in our faces. It does that because we are miss-using the scripture for what it’s supposed to be. God’s words are there for our benefit, our defense, our guidance and to get to know Jesus as well as ourselves.

As wonderful as it would be to get our spouse to read and learn from them it doesn’t work that way. We can only work on ourselves, wow did I say that? My marriage counselor would be proud! No, all we can do is our part and hope the influence from that will make a difference.

Journey Note 2 Bloom where you are planted

Well its three or four days into my quest to improve in a few selected areas of my life. Don’t worry I have others but let’s take one area at a time. So far I have lost a couple of pounds, my checkbook is current, my house is a little bit cleaner. I have written some journal notes as I wanted to do but haven’t got a chance to write some devotionals like I would have.

Like many other people I start out strong but the momentum doesn't see to last. As soon as my husband is around or at the sign of the slightest distraction its over with. Truly I have no one else to blame but myself. As much as I would like to blame my husband for my lack of discipline its me who needs to change that as an area of weakness needing improvement.

We are told to bloom where we are planted. It would be great to be in the ideal setting, with the perfect atmosphere and situation for anyone to blossom into a wonderful Christian woman. Dream on. It doesn’t work that way. In fact sometimes the areas where we grow the most are in the area where diversity lies.

I’m moving forward. The only one who can stop me is myself in I allow the elements of life to control me instead of God.

Off I go on a continued journey. A couple of pounds lighter mind you! I just had to throw that in, again.

Let the Journey Begin

Journal note #1

Before starting my quest to work on areas in my life that need improving I kneel before the Lord. I have found out the hard way over the years the best way to start and finish all my expeditions is to do so on my knees. Doing so as I call upon the Lord to travel with me, to not only be my guide but to be my companion as well.

The beauty about prayer is it doesn’t require physical knees to bow upon what is required is a spirit willing to bow humbly before the Lord. We can do it in a chair, from our bed, or walking down the street. We just need to do it.

Its funny how when we find something wrong with our car we instantly get it into a shop for service but we seldom do that for ourselves. When I came down with cancer I had several people tell me I needed to stop thinking about caring for others and start caring for myself.

Although I don’t plan to stop caring for other people I will try my best to care about myself. I have several paths of improvement I want to take and learning to control my eating is one of them. I love food, I love to eat, I love the taste, I love to munch. Like my puppy dog I seem to always need to have something in my mouth. Over the years I have lost weight only to gain it immediately back. I’ve probably have lost over 150 pounds over the years only to gain it back three, four, five pounds at a time.

Thinking of what Hebrews 12:1 said about throwing off everything that hinders us I need to throw off the need to eat when my head tells me to eat and not my stomach. I need to throw off the desire to not hurt anyone’s feelings by not saying “No” to their offers of food I don’t need to be eating on. I need to throw off being lazy and not exercising like I should.

At work today I was doing okay. When people offered me candy I took it but didn’t eat it. However, when it came to the special cheese someone had I never hesitated to eat a slice of it. Going along with the crowd hinders me and it is something that needs to be thrown off as well.

Another path of improvement is my house cleaning skills. I’m good at cleaning my house when I take the time to do it. Being a packrat, or someone who likes to hang on to stuff just strictly because, hinders my ability to improve in this area. What is a person suppose to do when they go into a room with a black garbage bag to throw things away but yet can’t find anything they would throw away. Anyone else who came into the same room would have found multiple things to toss in the trash.

A third area I want to work on at the same time is the vicinity of handling my money well. For too long now I have allowed it to control me instead of me controlling it. It’s time to start telling it where to go instead of it dictating my life.

Another area I want to discipline myself in doesn’t necessarily need “improvement” but I want to do better just the same. That is the area of writing out my journal notes on a daily basis. With a notebook full of half written notes again I’m reminded of my need to finish what I start. So daily I have made it my discipline to finish one handwritten note a day.

Last but not least my biggest path of improvement ties the pavement of all these paths together and that is improving in the area of doing something all the way to the end, to finish what I start.

So here to the diet that only lasts a week, here to the money who dictates too quickly, here to my packrat tendencies that clutters my life. I’m on the path to improvement in a race I intend to finish to the glory of God and the benefit of myself.

Let the journey begin!

Welcome Paulette's

If you haven’t read my profile you need to right now. In it you will read the purpose of this site. The purpose is to learn the failed art of self-improvement. For too long we have stopped taking responsibility for our own actions and started to blame others for our own end results and harvest.

I have my own struggles with self-improvement and I am going to use this site to not only help me but help other struggling Paulette’s. People, men or women, like Paul who struggle with doing the right thing. Do you have that problem? Don’t lie! We all have that issue because we are human. Some are good at mastering the art of self-improvement and others like me are not so successful at it.

This site will be my journal as you walk with me thru the areas I want to improve. Read the notes, laugh with me (not at me), struggle with me as together we strive for the prize at the end of our race.

It’s a journey on our knees because that is how we need to be traveling, on our knees in prayer forever seeking God and His guidance. He is our tour guide, the one who will see us through to the end.

Recently at my grandma’s funeral as I looked around the full church I thought of how all those in attendance were people she picked up along the way in her journey through 90 years of life. The person she started and ended with remained the same, the Lord. It was the others she picked up along the way that may have differed.

No matter who we pick up along the way, where our journey leads us, the trials along the way, the One we start and finish with never should change. It needs to remain Jesus. Our success needs to be His glory and our benefit. He is the one who equips us with things necessary to succeed. Our job is to figure out how to use his provisions correctly.

So, let the journey begin down our paths of improvement.