Growing Beyond~~~~95 Days till Easter Days 85-87

Growing Beyond    Day 87              Jan 3, 2013       Man-Made Rules

On this day I need to concentrate on getting rid of all the man-made rules that hinder my success. Rules such as: 1) I need to eat when everyone else eats, 2) I need to clean my plate even though I’m already satisfied, 3) the clock tells me when to eat, and 4) food gives me comfort when I need it.

Truly when spiritual issues and sensual indulgence are not tackled or addressed and redirected using the good news of Jesus Christ, then all we have are man-made rules. It’s hard to understand how we will follow a man made rule in a heartbeat but ignore the rules set out by God.

Why is it we are so willing to self-destruct using man-made rules and ignore the things designed to give us life not take it away which are the rules of God. Too often people think the Bible is outdated that the rules shouldn’t apply to the current century. Well let me ask you, “How long ago did man make up the rule that if you murder someone you will be convicted and stand the possibility of being put to death yourself?” That is an old rule made in an earlier century therefore it should be considered to be outdated. Right? Wrong!

As much as we would like to believe that rules were meant to be broken they aren’t. They are there for a reason but we need to make sure we are following all the right rules when it comes to our eating habits or our spiritual lives. God’s way is better than any man-made rule that ever could have been designed. Therefore its up to us to stay away from the man-made rules that have only lead to our self-destruction and follow God’s design of eating right. Rules such as: 5) eating when you are hungry not when the clock says to; 4) eating till you are satisfied not until the plate is empty; 3) getting my comfort from God instead of chocolate covered donut I thought was my friend; and 2) Eating when its right for me not when its right for everyone who happens to be eating at the time.

The number one rule: 1) Allow God to rule in my life, to have control over me instead of food and my desire to eat it whenever I want.

 

 

Growing Beyond    Day 86     Jan 4, 2013                    Desire for Extra Food

Whether I want to admit it or not I need to get rid of my evil desire for extra food. No, evil is not too harsh of a word as it really does describe it well. Just because I love something I’m eating doesn’t mean I need to eat more of it than I should. When I allow food to call my name and eat beyond what my body needs that is, evil. It goes against God’s plan for me to wait for my body to call for food and tell me when it’s time to stop.

I won’t die if I pass the opportunity for a maple bar donut. The extra helping of scalloped potatoes I think I need really doesn’t do a thing for me except round my hips out a little more.

 

I need to live my life taking in the food my body needs, not the extra my mind wants.

 

Growing Beyond    Day 85   Jan 5, 2013              Self-Control and Self-Discipline

Ten days into my 95 days till Easter journey and I am now thinking of self-control. Duh! The whole journey is about self-control and self-discipline. It’s almost a test to see if the spirit of God is alive and strong in me. Or maybe what I should say is it’s a test to see if I am going to listen to the spirit of God in me to use His eating system designed in me from the moment of conception. 

 

The extra rolls of fat on my belly, the added weight showing up on the scales shows just out of control I am when it comes to eating. My eating habits are at their worse and my body advertises that as I jiggle when I walk. I have no one else to blame but myself. McDonald’s is not to blame; it wasn’t Burger Kings fault I got fat. Dunkin Donuts had no clue of my intensions to over eat and carry with me on my hips the extra calories I consumed.

 

As much as we would like to blame everyone else, we are to blame. We are the ones who need to learn the dying art of self-control and self-discipline. This doesn’t apply to food only. It is something that needs to be practiced in everything we do. In our handling of money, the desire to do drugs, the way we treat others, studying for a school exam, coming to work daily on time, and the list goes on and on.

 

Now is the time for us to start controlling our own lives and stop allowing food or our emotions and desires to control us.

 

95 day journey till Easter ~~~~~ Days 90 to 88

Day 88       Jan 2, 2013       It’s me not the food that needs to behave

One thing I’ve learned over the years is the fact that it’s not the food that needs to be obedient. Too often we try to give the task of being obedient to the kind of food we eat. After all it should be the one who behaves as we do our part and eat all the “right” things, whole wheat, all natural, diet drinks, fat free, or whatever else. Needless to say if we eat more of those “right” foods than our body can burn up we are going to gain weight anyway. Once when I was on a fat free diet I figured I could eat whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted as long as it was “fat free.” Guess what? Yes you guessed it, I gained weight.

 

The food was being obedient but I wasn’t. On diets we’ve had success with often once we lose our weight and stop dieting we gain our weight back. Why is this? It’s frequently because we haven’t taught ourselves to be the one who obeys God’s rules for healthy eating by eating when we are hungry and stopping when we are satisfied.   

 

It doesn’t matter what food we eat. We can eat a candy bar if our stomach is truly hungry and we stop when satisfied. However, it’s always smart to eat the food that is best for us nutrition wise such as vegetables and fresh food but don’t think it’s the one that needs to be obedient. Obedience to proper eating habits is our job. We are the ones who need to behave not the food.

 

Day 89          Jan 1, 2013     God’s Word In Action

A good task for anything we do is to keep God’s word in our heart. This is how I conquered my stress seizures over 20 years ago and this is how I can defeat my weight problem. Scriptures such as “I can do all things (lose weight included) thru Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4:13). God’s grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9) I don’t need food to complete me or my life. My body is a temple of God (1 Cor 6:19,20) I need to take care of it and use it to glorify God not disgrace Him by my choice of eating habits. Earlier in that same chapter in Corinthians it talks about how we may think all things are lawful for us but all things are not helpful and we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be under the power of any of it. It goes on to say food is for the stomach and the stomach for food but eventually God will destroy both.

 

The ice cream I thought I needed, the fulfillment lasted about as long as the ice cream bar did. Once it was gone it all was gone including the satisfaction. What I need to do is concentrate on the fact that what remains is my spiritual temple I’ve been assigned caretaker to. It is the thing that will last forever and it’s up to me to see to it that it is cared for properly. It doesn’t require ice cream, pie, cookies, or extra food servings. It requires care, nurturing, attention, and the proper feeding of spiritual food instead. It entails me to allow God’s word to be in action in all that I say, do, and eat.

Day 90    12-31-12   The Fight Against Frustration

In attempt to do anything in life whether it’s dieting, going to college, working, training horses, riding cows, building bridges, etc we will always run into some kind of frustration. Recently as I weighed myself to see if I had lost any weight the scale went up instead of down.

 

Instant frustration could be felt over the fact that all my hard work wasn’t paying off. At the rate I was going I might as well quit now instead of trying to go on. The same old tape recordings in my mind began to play once more, “this is the way it always is, and no matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to lose weight so why bother!”

At the risk of trying to lie to myself along with everyone else I truly wasn’t trying. My ratio of efforts was reflecting on the very scale I stood upon as I pointed my finger at it yelling “liar, liar!”

 

When we lie to ourselves we are only adding to our frustration instead of taking away from it. Frustration is grown on the root of stress and it needs dealt with properly like everything else. Yes, life has its frustrations but that is no excuse to yell and scream and point our fingers at everyone else without looking at what the true problem is.

 

Frustration has a way of setting us back but we don’t have to give ourselves permission to stay there and make matters worse. Its better we stand upright once again and keep moving forward stronger and better as we overcome each of life’s frustrations and setbacks one day at a time.

 

© 2013 Karen J. Gillett at Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing for Growing Beyond

 

 

Day 91 until Easter~~~~~~Death to Self

Dec 12-30-12

When I think of the subject of “death-to-self” the hair on the back of my neck stands up and I get offensive. After all, I’m an adult and have been for several years I should not have to deny myself anything. I have a job I can pay for whatever it is I want. If I want a banana split I can get it, I don’t need mommy around anymore telling me what I can or cannot do.

Wrong!

 

The job of mom if you think about it is to do their job so well that they work their way out of a job. As the child grows up they are to take over where mom or dad left off and are able to care for themselves. One of the lessons to be learnt is the lesson of dying to one’s self. To be able to say “No” once in a while in order to maintain proper discipline and good choices.

Just because I can say “Yes” doesn’t make that the right answer. If I’m eating too much and I’m gaining weight I need to die to myself and the desires I have to eat in a greedy, glutton, selfish kind of way.

 

After doing this for a while I have found that I still manage to live, duh! It doesn’t kill me totally to say “no” to a cookie today because tomorrow I may be able to have one if I’m truly hungry and one cookie doesn’t turn into a jar full of cookies.

 

By nature we are selfish people and we need to learn the lesson of dying to ourselves. Learning quickly how to say “No” and to think of someone more than ourselves. Once again just because we “can” do something doesn’t make it right. We need to be living our lives in a manner that glorifies God and benefits us and those around us. Dying to one’s self doesn’t kill us, it causes us to grow in the right way and mature more and more into the person we need to be.

 

Growing beyond the size I am today into the size of clothes I should be requires death to self and the bad choices I’ve been making that got me to where I am today weight wise. It’s a choice, a discipline worth taking. In the long run it causes me to gain something much more than extra pounds. I gain maturity and satisfaction in Christ.

 

© 2013 Karen J. Gillett at Pencil Marks and Recipes Publishing for Growing Beyond

92 Days Till Easter~~~~~~~Falling Links

December 29, 2012

Well its 92 days till Easter and already I have noticed some links falling off the chain that had me bound. As nice as it would have been to have the whole thing drop off instantly it just doesn’t work that way.

 

That’s one of our biggest problems is patience and waiting for the results to happen. We live in a society that expects everything instantly. We don’t have time to wait. We expect the traffic lights to turn green the minute we get to them. We expect the bank teller at the drive thru banking to be helping no one but us, after all isn’t that why they are there waiting in that booth just for us!

 

Whether we noticed it at the time or not the chain we find ourselves attached to, went on one link at a time and that is exactly how it’s going to come off. For me I find the link of making bad food choices is starting to fall off. Also the link of not being able to say no to the temptation of food is beginning to lose its grip.

 

Thank you Lord for giving us the ability to remove the chains we ourselves installed. Forgive us for our laziness and unwillingness to do our part. Having the right attitude going forward is one of the biggest pliers that will help remove unwanted links to a chain that doesn’t have to be there as long as we stick with You Father God. Praise you for this journey and may I learn what I need to learn and share with others what needs to be shared in order to help them remove the links and uninstall the chain.

93 days till Easter~~~~~~~~Enslavemenrt

December 28, 2012           Enslavement
                                                             

Too often we are enslaved by something and don’t even know it. Even when we know it we don’t want to do anything about it. We accept it as our new norm instead of putting out the effort to free ourselves from what it is that has a hold on us.

 

The other day as I looked through old pictures of myself, I noticed I have been overweight my entire adult life. Thirty years or more I’ve been enslaved by something I just would not take the time to free myself from.

 

Once again isn’t that what Easter represents is the freedom that Christ has set us free for. Not the freedom to do what we want but the freedom from the enslavement of sin. God put the key in the door of that entrapment to sin and unlocked it with the blood of Jesus Christ. However, for some odd reason we remain standing in the jail cell that once held us. Indeed the jail cell of sin wallpapered with our acts of doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted and ignoring the commandments of God.

 

How foolish is that? Pretty foolish I must say. Every time I eat what I shouldn’t be eating the clicking sound of the key to my cell needs to go off in my heart. A sound to remind me whether I’m going to accept my enslavement to food and bad eating habits or walk free out of my cell that God already released me from.

 

We don’t need to be afraid, we need to be determined to take action and truly find the opened door to our freedom in Christ. Daily by our choices we need to accept our new norm of not allowing things like food, drugs, alcohol, money, sex, attitudes, and more to control us.

 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Free from sin, not freedom to sin.

94 days to Easter~~~~~~~~~~~~~Habit Hunting

December 27, 2012

It is now 94 days till Easter. My task today is to go out hunting habits. To get rid of the old habits that feed my desire to eat what I want, whenever I want, as much as I want. Habits such as eating by the clock, eating because I happened to be in the kitchen, eating because I’m upset, eating because everyone else is eating and eating beyond full just because I can. Other things that need to be hunted down and gotten rid of are the habits of eating too fast and eating while cooking as well.

 

The hard part about dealing with habits is the fact that they happen so automatically that you commit the bad habit before you even realize it. Suddenly tonight as I was cooking dinner I found myself snitching yet another bite of food from the pot. There was no pre-meditated decision only an old habit that took control once again.

 

Truth be known over the years of trying to “diet” the one thing that crashed most of my diets were the habits I couldn’t seem to break. Nice try, Karen, but no cigars or candy! As much as I would like to blame all those bad habits the true culprit was me. It was me that allowed something to control my behavior, it was me who easily gave in to temptation, it was me who chose food over God when I knew the consequences. It was me not McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, Papa Murphy’s pizza, Dunkin donuts or anything else to blame for my obesity.

 

So although indeed the bad habits have to go I’m the one responsible to make sure that happens. They are not going away on their own, and they are more than happy to stay as long as I welcome them into my life.

 

 

95 days till Easter~~~~~~~~~~~~~Committment

December 26, 2012

On my journey to be free from my slavery to food it is now 95 days till Easter. On this day I make a commitment to stop dieting. It's time to stop trying to make food behave and place the responsibility on myself. Wow! That is so opposite of what the world starts on January 1st, the commitment or resolution to diet.

I need instead to do it God's way and stop doing anything that makes me talk about, focus on, lust after food, or allow it to control me. Eating by the clock, savoring the smell of food, lusting over a mere picture of food, or falling for the power of suggestion to eat what I don't need all have to go.

In my commitment the battery on the clock needs to be removed. There is no more eating in the morning because that's what we are supposed to do or eating at noon or six o'clock because they are the appointed times to be hungry. I need to allow my stomach to tell me what the appointed time is not the clock.

My desire to keep my commitment to myself and God needs to be stronger than my desire to eat what I want when I want it. A good scripture to think of here as I begin is, Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

Storms

Storms are a funny thing. When we are going thru them we can't wait until they are over. Once they are gone they seem to be the one thing we find ourselves bringing up time and time again to talk about it. As much as we would hate to admit it, storms are a necessary part of life. They strengthen us, they cause us to rely on God more, they humble us, they teach us how to survive, and how to trust in the one who calms the storms.

 

The tough part with me is the fact that it seems like you just get thru one storm when another one hits. Its not for us to question why this happens this way. Ours is to hang on, trust God, and learn all we can in order to use it for the next storm that may come along. We don't need to fear the storms but trust the captain of our ship, Jesus Christ to see us through.

 

Nothing lasts forever no matter what it feels like, the storms will pass and left behind will either be the damage the storm caused because we didn't do our part in trusting God. Or left behind will be stronger roots into our souls giving us the ability to stand up to anything life happens to throw our way.

 

The Need to Care

 Several weeks ago I told a group of teenagers that were boasting about something they like to do that is harmful to their health that some day they were going to care. They may not care now what they were doing that was harmful to their health but some day they would care and it may be too late. The picture the three of them put on facebook for all to see was their act of rebellion to show the world they didn't care as they made gestures to the camera.

Recently my doctor put me on an additional medicine to manage my cancer. Its a drug that could raise my cholesterol level. In precaution to see where my cholesterol started out I had blood work done. Guess what? It was high. Along with my cholesterol, my blood sugars are high, and my blood pressure is high. Go figure!

Two weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer I had lost over 30 pounds and finally got myself under 200 pounds. I was so tickled and proud of myself that I finally was getting somewhere in the weight loss game. After I found out about my cancer I lost my ability to care about my weight. Instantly it was, "Well I'm dying of cancer then what is the point of trying to lose weight and maintain it where it needs to be."

As the result of that attitude I have now in a year and half gained back 37 pounds. When my cancer doctor told me I would have to go on medication to try and get everything down to where it needed to be I thought, "No way." I need to get my weight down first then see if medication is needed.

On my way home that day from the doctor's I got to thinking about how I was no different than those teenagers who were boasting about their choice of lifestyle. To demonstrate my thought I went out and bought a candy bar to take a picture similar to the one they did minus the hand gesture to prove my point. With me no hand gesture was necessary because the wing expansion of my upper arm was all the gesture needed to the camera to demonstrate the fact that I didn't care.

Quicker than it has for the young teenagers my time has come that I better start caring again. I can't stop myself from getting cancer, or stop it from going out of control but I can my weight, my blood sugars and blood pressure. Today I talked to a nutritionist and I told her that I'm not fat, I am undisciplined. And that is the truth with all of us, we aren't fat we are undisciplined. We need to start caring to the point we are willing to take care of that which has been entrusted to us, our bodies.

My rebellious behavior isn't justified simply because I'm an "older" adult and not a teenager. Age has nothing to do with it. Those girls need to start caring now and so do I. We shouldn't wait until we "feel" like doing it we need to discipline ourselves into doing what we know is right and do it now. Right for us, right for our bodies, right in God's eyes.

"The time is now to start caring before its too late." Those were my words to the teenagers' weeks ago, and now they are the very words I find myself feasting upon today. For when we start to care it shows up in our attitude and its rewarded in our actions. After all, why wait till we are brain dead to stop doing dope, why wait till we have destroyed our liver before we stop drinking, why wait till we have a heart attack before we decide to lose weight, and why wait till we have lung cancer before we stop smoking. Waiting is bad for us and good for our enemy. Now is the time, not later to start caring.

**After I took this picture I didn't eat the candy bar I hope you know, I fed it to our three baby pigs. They loved it!

Daily Disciplines

As I work on my daily disciplines I find myself making progress in some areas and still faltering in other areas. This means I should give up, right? Wrong! We are way to willing to “throw in the towel” and quit at the first sign of trouble, difficulty, hard work, and tough decisions.

We need to be encouraging one another to go on, to move forward and not let the things in life stop them from achieving what they want to achieve. As I think of our granddaughter graduating from 8^th grade she, like everyone else is going to need to have that ability to stand up and face life head on and not be stopped by it.

She needs to know like everyone else that we will succeed in some areas that come easy to and stumble in other situations that come with great difficulty and pain. Either way it doesn’t matter, the instructions are the same. We need to keep moving forward and the best way to do that is with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. What He has to offer us goes beyond what we see on earth, it takes us into eternity where we fall alive into the mansions He is currently preparing for us. John 14:2,3 “In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”

Today as I drop to my knees in prayer one more time my point of pray for my granddaughter, myself, and all my “All UDDERS” as I call them is this, “Lord God I pray this day that each and every one of us will walk worthy of you Lord, not as fools but as wise redeeming the time, because the days are evil as we understand what Your will is Lord and seek it. For every stride forward we take may we do so to Your glory Lord God as our actions draw us closer and closer to the You and the goals needed to succeed in walking worthy. Guide us on this path, show us where we need to go, forgive us when we fall short, be patient with us as we get back up on our feet and try again.

Praise you for allowing us access to Your throne thru the shed blood of Jesus Christ that opens a door that once was closed. Thank you for Your love. Praise you for Your wisdom. We love you Father, thank you for loving us. ”

Daily Disciplines:

My daily discipline today is keeping up on my cleaning. I did well as I found I can take a moment or two and accomplish a lot more than I think.

Another daily discipline is working on my closet clutter. Being a pack rat it’s hard to keep the piles down. I’m proud to say I threw away some denim material the other day and it didn’t kill me. I’m alive to tell about it. You have to realize I have more denim in my house than anyone could possible need in their lifetime.

Now on to the confession….the daily discipline where I falter is my eating habits. That one is going to take some time to conquer, fight, and give up as I strive to replace them with better more healthy habits.

One day at a time, one discipline at a time.

Chained or Unchained

In the Bible there is a scripture that talks about how it is for freedom that Christ set us free. Unfortunately people have taken that scripture and twisted it out of portion. They like the thought of being free because to them it’s a freedom to do whatever they want. They think being associated with Christ takes away their freedom instead of giving it to them. Having Christ in their lives means they can’t smoke, drink, cheat on their spouse, hate someone, lust after another, worship whatever god they want to, lie on their resumes, over eat, under achieve, cheat on final exams, speak what they want or say what they want and the list goes on.

 The problem is we think we understand captivity and we think we know what it’s like to be free. However, it's amazing what we allow to bind us up and hinder us from being truly free. We walk around demanding our right to be free yet our actions dictate otherwise. How we live our lives and the fact that we are held captive by so many influences paints a picture of being bound by self-installed chains. Our love of money, our addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, and food all bind us in the chains of those afflictions replacing a freedom available to all. 

Think about it, being addicted to something whether it’s smoking, drinking, drugs, food, or gambling or whatever is anything but a freedom. Yes, we had the freedom to choose to do those things but after that what about them is free? Is getting lung cancer from smoking being free? Having a heart attack from being overweight is that being free? Having to steal and do all sorts of things to feed a drug habit is that being free? Being influenced by alcohol and wasting your body away one drink at a time is that being free? No, they are anything but true freedom they are a path to captivity. It’s bondage to a substance that has us under its control in spite of those who say, “Oh I can quit anytime.” Then do it!

 The freedom to choose to have Christ in our lives stays that way, a true freedom. It’s a freedom from bitterness, anger, selfishness, greed, hatred, inner turmoil, stress, and being under the control of other elements of life other than ourselves and Christ. Christ came to set us free yet we continue to live within the captivity of our actions and attitude. Why is that?  It doesn't have to be that way if we just would just turn our lives over to Christ. We don't need to be held hostage by alcohol, tobacco, food, or emotions if we don't want to be. I was told once by a friend that if I wanted to lose weight, truly loses weight I would do it. I was insulted. She was crazy I wanted to lose weight but I just couldn't do it. It took me awhile but I found out she was right. As much as I said I wanted to lose weight my addiction to food was stronger and greater. I wasn't willing to give up what I loved so much to do and that was eat.

Another problem we have is having the wrong idea of what freedom is. Too often people look at freedom as an excuse to run wild and do whatever they want at any cost. Little do they know that eventually what happens is they bind themselves up worse in the long run taking away what they thought they were fighting for, their freedom.

We need to appreciate the freedoms we have for what they are. In the United States we have enjoyed our freedom for over 200 years. Unfortunately people are beginning to forget what that freedom means to us and what it is exactly our founding fathers set up for us. Little by little we are beginning to bind ourselves up with our own chains.

It would do us well to get a taste of the freedom Christ supplies for us that takes us away from the captivity of sin and rewards us with eternal life and everlasting peace with Him. This kind of freedom is hard to find and shouldn't be taken lightly.

The choice becomes ours. God has given us that freedom to choose. We just need to remember for every choice we make there are consequences both good and bad. Think before you leap, consider what’s ahead and proceed with caution, faith, and trust in God our source of true freedom.

In other words, the chains we feel are not from God they are installed by our own choices. The sooner we own up to that fact that sooner we can get them removed thanks to God.

Chained or unchained, there is no choice that falls between the two. We are either free or bound, chained or unchained. When we fall alive into eternity it’s going to make a difference.

© 2012 Karen J. Gillett @ Pencil Marks and Publishing      Journey On Our Knees

***The picture I used today was painted by our youth minister at the church, Darin Hollingsworth. Thanks Darin! Job well done.

Journal Note Coping Skills, trusting God

I promised I would share with you my “coping skills” I used over the years. Tricks pulled out of my hat that worked temporarily but soon failed. As with any trick, they may work for the person down the street but that doesn’t mean they will for us. What is important is we work on finding what does work for us one ingredient at a time; one recipe at a time.

Samples of things I did to endure were: 1) I recorded scriptures on a tape to listen to at night using earphones to help me fall asleep and give me peace. 2) Frequently I used solitary bathrooms as my crying room as I struggled to regain the strength needed to endure the outside world. 3) Sitting on the baptistery stairs at the church and praying and talking to God helped a great deal. 4) Frequently going into the sanctuary of the church dropping to my knees crying out loud to God was a must. I remember once doing it in my bib overalls, another time in a dress that I lost a button on as I fell to my knees. I never did find the lost button but I found God. One time when I was praying I felt the tremble of the earth below me. Later I went back to that same spot and tried again to see if the tremble was still there but it wasn’t.

5) I anointed my house once, the door jams and the front door as I prayed to God.  6) I painted the walls of my house with songs of praise each morning before leaving for work to cover the anger from the fighting the evening before. 7) I would daily leave all my cares and anxieties on the rock pile at the edge of our property so I wouldn’t take them to work with me. 8) I built a set of stairs out of wood and put a cross on the top of my four inch creation to give me a place to focus. 9) I even tried the running away trick and the trick of anger and revenge.

 At times it seemed like the only friend I had was the smiley face on a deck of cards that would pop up randomly as I played solitaire on the computer. It was a face I looked forward to as it was a reminder to me that someone still cared. Someone was still smiling at me. On top of all the other tricks I listed I had one I thought was the answer. It seemed like a good approach to my problems. It was logical and what appeared to be fool proof. Wrong! Little did I know my effort to deal with life turned into a trap that I would later get caught in? It would be a trap that took years to remove.  

 Over the years it got to the point that I told God I had no more tricks to pull out of my hat. Everything I tried to do to cope wasn’t working or lasting very long. God spoke to my heart and told me the problem was “I” was trying to do these things; “I” needed to stop and allow God to help me.

 Giving up the notion that I needed to get my husband to change was the beginning of better progress for myself and my marriage.   It was time to stop believing the lies that Satan had me feeding from. Lies such as the fact that my only friend was a smiley face on a deck of cards, the lie that getting angry was showing I was dealing with life. The lie also that I was the only one going through such terrible times. The lie also that no one cared.

 Satan is good at getting us down and then he has his ways of holding our heads under as we drown in our own self pity. Way back when I didn’t lean on the promises of God, I leaned on my tricks. Later I learned the best defense is that which God provides. The promises He gives us in His word such as “I will never leave you nor forsake you. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

 Those are the things we need to throw in Satan’s face and tell him what Christ told him, “Get ye behind me Satan.” It’s a statement that will need repeating over and over again but that’s okay. The important thing is that we don’t quit or give up on ourselves or God. We need to use our hard times to learn from and to draw closer to God.

 Honestly if my walk in life had been smooth and easy I probably never would have prayed to God as much as I have. I would never have drawn as close as I am to His side. As the song says, “If that’s what it takes then Jesus let it rain,” Amen! We definitely need to stay close to God when life circumstances are raining down on us. Leaning on Him and doing all we can to stand strong in Him.

 
It’s important to remember that Satan can make us stumble but he can’t make us fall. We are the ones that allow that because we aren’t focused on the things above, the eternal stuff that needs to be in our hearts. Praising the Lord thru it all is the best way to cope anything. Praise Him for His love, his mercy, grace, forgiveness, comfort, companionship, wisdom, understanding, and so much more. Claim His promises in His word and stand on them. Satan will try to knock you off your newly found platform of promises but don’t allow it. Stand firm, stand strong.

Coping Skills

The journey in to work this morning wasn’t a fun one. The first snow of the season had finally hit. Driver’s not yet prepared with their winter driving gear slowly crept along the snow covered roads. Taking my time to get where I needed to be safely I began to think about being prepared and how things in life show up and we need to be ready to deal with them.

Over the years as I tried to cope with life's difficulties I did all sort of things to cope with life. Some of the tricks I pulled out of my hat worked well while others turned into dangerous paths that led to even more trouble.

Trying to cope with life is where we get into a great deal of our trouble. We do it all wrong when we try to do it without Christ. The tricks we pull out of our magical hat to survive are skills we dreamed up. No wonder they fail.

The biggest thing we can do for ourselves in coping with life is to remain strong is Jesus. We can’t give up on Him or ourselves. Just because we keep our Bible close at hand and pray frequently doesn’t mean life isn’t going to be a challenge for us.

As hard as it may be we can’t allow the emotions of the moment to take over our senses. We can’t turn to false hopes and temporary comforts like drugs, food, alcohol, or other people in order to survive. These are not the permanent solutions we need to survive.

Once when my sister fought with her husband she left the house to think things over. Her first reaction was to run to the grocery store and buy herself a candy bar before going some place to have a good cry. It didn’t solve anything but boy that taste of chocolate was her temporary comfort.

Storms in life are going to hit. Unfortunately some appear to get them more than others but everyone has their storms. We just need to prepare ahead of time for when they do hit. We do this by reading our Bible, develop our relationship with God, and practice fighting against Satan’s lies and his tricks.

For the next few journal notes I’m going to talk about things I did to try to deal with life. Tiny little things I used to get me through life. After that we will talk about the good skills that will make a longer lasting difference.

Merry Christmas my fellow Paulette’s. The other day I was thinking maybe I should have referred to us as Petterette’s. Now there is a word for you. Peter, because of the things in life he dealt with, his insecurities, his mistakes and struggles. Both men in the Bible finally overcame their flukes and flaws and were powerful witnesses for God. We will too. It takes time, effort, and the willingness to finish well.

Merry Christmas everyone. Happy Birthday Jesus!  

Journal Note #3

I’ve once again come up against where I am the weakest. I have a hard time blooming where I’m planted because life gets a little difficult. The atmosphere in the house changes and I go with it, this needs to stop. I’m a true Paulette all the way but even Paul was able to hold his own and be the person Christ had called him to be.

Even in the most perfect of conditions if we don’t deal with our weak areas they will remain weak. The purpose of my journey is to not get out but to get through by the grace of God. A journey that brings glory to God in all I say and do.

I want my struggles to be other people’s planks that get them through their own difficult moments in life. One thing I have learned over the years is the fact that “every moment eventually passes.” They may take their time sometimes but they do pass. What we do in those moments, how we react, what we say goes with us so we need to do what is right and beneficial not revenge and self-seeking.

I can both stop in my weaknesses and wallow around in them like a pig does the mud or I can choose to keep moving forward. I choose to keep moving forward. I am going to conqueror who I often am and turn it into something I want to be for Christ and Christ alone.

First order of business to tackle is the getting down on myself when issues in life come up and I take it out on myself. For some reason the first person I like to come down on is myself as I hammer myself into the ground. I know this is wrong but it’s what I do and I need to overcome this worldly trait and replace it with something God would want me to have.

A good place to start is to turn to our sword collection from the Bible. They are promises God makes in His word for us to hang on to and use to fight our battles not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of the dark world Satan creates around us.

For example:

With fiery darts in flight everywhere from Satan I run to my Bible for my defense. Quickly reaching in I draw out the sword to use against my enemy that says, “Though a good man falls he shall not be utterly cast down for the Lord upholds him with His hand,” Psalm 37:24. Waving that in Satan’s face I stand by God’s promise that though I may fall I will not be utterly cast down for God is holding me with His hand. The knowledge of this gives me strength and stability knowing I have God on my side. I may stub my toe, or run into a brick wall once in awhile but I will NOT be utterly cast down. I have the God factor on my side and that is something I will be more than happy to stand by. It’s not for me to hammer myself down but to pick myself up using the strength of God to carry me through even the darkest times. As He holds my hand, I need to be holding His.                                          

Each of us needs to look for promise swords and use them to fight our battles. Too often we pull out scripture and try to use it against our spouses, children, or others and it backfires in our faces. It does that because we are miss-using the scripture for what it’s supposed to be. God’s words are there for our benefit, our defense, our guidance and to get to know Jesus as well as ourselves.

As wonderful as it would be to get our spouse to read and learn from them it doesn’t work that way. We can only work on ourselves, wow did I say that? My marriage counselor would be proud! No, all we can do is our part and hope the influence from that will make a difference.

Journey Note 2 Bloom where you are planted

Well its three or four days into my quest to improve in a few selected areas of my life. Don’t worry I have others but let’s take one area at a time. So far I have lost a couple of pounds, my checkbook is current, my house is a little bit cleaner. I have written some journal notes as I wanted to do but haven’t got a chance to write some devotionals like I would have.

Like many other people I start out strong but the momentum doesn't see to last. As soon as my husband is around or at the sign of the slightest distraction its over with. Truly I have no one else to blame but myself. As much as I would like to blame my husband for my lack of discipline its me who needs to change that as an area of weakness needing improvement.

We are told to bloom where we are planted. It would be great to be in the ideal setting, with the perfect atmosphere and situation for anyone to blossom into a wonderful Christian woman. Dream on. It doesn’t work that way. In fact sometimes the areas where we grow the most are in the area where diversity lies.

I’m moving forward. The only one who can stop me is myself in I allow the elements of life to control me instead of God.

Off I go on a continued journey. A couple of pounds lighter mind you! I just had to throw that in, again.

Welcome Paulette's

If you haven’t read my profile you need to right now. In it you will read the purpose of this site. The purpose is to learn the failed art of self-improvement. For too long we have stopped taking responsibility for our own actions and started to blame others for our own end results and harvest.

I have my own struggles with self-improvement and I am going to use this site to not only help me but help other struggling Paulette’s. People, men or women, like Paul who struggle with doing the right thing. Do you have that problem? Don’t lie! We all have that issue because we are human. Some are good at mastering the art of self-improvement and others like me are not so successful at it.

This site will be my journal as you walk with me thru the areas I want to improve. Read the notes, laugh with me (not at me), struggle with me as together we strive for the prize at the end of our race.

It’s a journey on our knees because that is how we need to be traveling, on our knees in prayer forever seeking God and His guidance. He is our tour guide, the one who will see us through to the end.

Recently at my grandma’s funeral as I looked around the full church I thought of how all those in attendance were people she picked up along the way in her journey through 90 years of life. The person she started and ended with remained the same, the Lord. It was the others she picked up along the way that may have differed.

No matter who we pick up along the way, where our journey leads us, the trials along the way, the One we start and finish with never should change. It needs to remain Jesus. Our success needs to be His glory and our benefit. He is the one who equips us with things necessary to succeed. Our job is to figure out how to use his provisions correctly.

So, let the journey begin down our paths of improvement.